Ginger HawthorneWell, I guess it’s time to take an unpopular opinion. I don’t usually write much in Facebook, but there’s been a lot of anger lately, here and elsewhere, about whether transgender people should be able to use the bathroom corresponding to the gender they identify with. There’s anger on both sides, and it’s really frustrating. So, rather than pick a side, I’m going to take a stance so unpopular, I haven’t yet seen anybody talking about it.
Get rid of gendered bathrooms.
That’s right, down with the men’s room and the ladies’ room. Tear out the urinals, turn them into stalls, call them all bathrooms or restrooms (that’s a whole other debate) and be done with it. Instead of trying to define gender, why not just do away with it altogether. Make gendered bathrooms this generation’s racist bathrooms.
But I’m not going to take a moral stance in this, really. I’m more pragmatic about it. When you step back from the vitriol, it’s really the only solution that makes any sense.
There will always be potential for abuse whenever there’s privacy. We all agree that privacy is a good thing, especially in a place where you’re going to partially undress. Yet nobody’s complaining about men in the men’s room or women in the women’s room. Men abuse men and boys all the time, and likewise with women, yet we’re focusing on the people we don’t understand, in an attempt to deflect from the reality that there are always terrible people doing terrible things.
But wait, I wasn’t taking the moral path, right? So here’s the thing. All you men who are terrified of what might happen to your daughter in a transgender woman is allowed in the women’s room? Guess what, now you get to go in there with her and protect her yourself. You just won’t get to pee standing up. Isn’t that sacrifice worth your daughter’s safety?
And single parents, you won’t have to worry about how old your kid has to be before you’re no longer allowed to bring them in the bathroom with you. You’re not bringing your son into the ladies’ room, you’re bring your child into the restroom. People with special needs won’t have to worry about having the right gendered caretaker with them in order to use the restroom. Dads won’t have to worry about whether the men’s room has a changing table.
We won’t have people whining about whether there’s a longer line at one restroom or the other, because everybody’s allowed to use both. Tech conferences won’t have to hijack the ladies’ room as a second men’s room on the assumption that women don’t show up to those things. And we can finally get rid of those antiquated icons on the doors, with the stupid little dress/skirt thing to degrade—I mean, denote—women. Just show a toilet, or a faucet, or even a poop emoji for all I care.
Despite what the news might tell you, people are, on the whole, good people. They’ll do the right thing. And if they don’t, you’d have a better chance if you’re in there with them than relying on a law that’s nearly impossible to enforce. Step back, breathe, and ask what you’re really fighting for.